The Optimist

The Toad isn't always the sharpest crayon in the box.

Okay, mostly, he's not sharp at all. Unless he's talking to the parental units, I mean.

Yesterday, the boy genius washed his wallet--again. He washed his previous wallet so many times it became impossible to get his driver's license out of it. And that, he discovered, is a real bummer when you're at the liquor store and they refuse to accept it as valid.

So he gets himself a replacement license and a replacement wallet. A new and improved wallet, if you will. It's new, and it's improved because it hold up better when you wash it repeatedly.

His cellphone--a new one he got just a few months ago--is not, however, improved because it does not hold up so well when washed. Not even once.

Duh.