Things I Learned From My Daughter

About a year or so ago, I wrote about one of the things I learned from the Howler.

Today, I learned a new one.

At bedtime, we lay out the clothes she is to wear the next day. It saves time, and nerves, in the mornings. Plus, there are no longer any surprises for us (okay, there are still a few, but it's usually about whether or not *today* underwear is optional) when she comes downstairs and wants to go outside to play.

Last night, I put out a red skort and matching red top, and added red socks. She said she wouldn't wear it. I asked why.

"Because J and B will make fun of me! They call me 'red ant' and hit me with the straps from my backpack!"

Now, I'm not overly impressed with either of these chicklets--they're both prissy, and they both seem to enjoy trying to make the Howler miserable. (This is what I meant earlier when I said the crap from girls is starting.)

I also thought back. She hasn't worn this particular outfit very often, maybe three times, and each time, I can remember walking out of the school with her saying to one of these girls, "You stop hitting me all the time. I don't like it and it's not nice!"

So, I thought about it. I got mad. I got sad. And then, this morning, when I woke the Howler up, I talked to her about why she thought they might do that, and why I thought they might do that.

I told the Howler how very much I like her--she's strong, independent, unique, thoughtful, friendly, smart, and fun. And how very proud I am of who she is.

I also told her that she looks good in this outfit, and nobody--not J, not B, not NOBODY--should be telling her what she can wear. If she likes it, and feels good in it, then she should wear it. She doesn't have to dress, or be, like anybody else, ever. She doesn't have to make decisions based on what some other little girl thinks.

I also told her that if they call her "red ant" and hit her with backpack straps, she needs to tell them loudly and clearly, by name, to stop it. And if they don't, find a teacher and talk with the teacher about it.

She got dressed, and happily went off to school.

I went in today, prepared to do battle. I looked first, to see if either of these two prisses were near her, and if so, what was going on.

Turns out, my girl is smart. My girl is grand. My girl is spectacular!

She was sitting next to J (no B in sight.) And once outside the first door, I asked the Howler if they did those things today.

She told me that they didn't, because she talked to Jand said: J, I don't like it when you call me 'red ant' and hit me with backpack straps. And J said, 'Well, if you tell me you don't want me to, then I'll stop and not do it again'. So I told her, "J, that's what I'm telling you. I don't like it, and I don't want you to call me that EVER.

Then, afterschool, we stayed so she could play at the playground. There's a creek that runs by the school, and it has lured her into it's algae covered non-depths many a day...despite my warnings, threats, and consequences.

Today, my Howler swings, she slides, she runs and hangs and jumps. She wanders over to watch a boy from her grade play in the water. She doesn't leave the mulch covered area--never so much as a toe over the line. I didn't even remember to tell her to stay out of the creek.

She stood there, on the edge for about a minute: then she turned and ran back to the monkey bars. About 15 minutes later, she walks up to me and says, "Okay, Mommy, I'm ready to go home now."

My girl is fan-flipping-tastic. She takes my breath away.