Well, I've been starting to read on the traumas and dramas of pre-teen and teenage girls. I started with Reviving Ophelia, mostly because of the snap-out I had over Blondie. I knew (from my own experience as a pre-teen/teen) that the name calling crap and the deliberate singling out of my baby girl for derision and scorn was NOT a good thing, and that at 6, it's supposed to be too early for that kind of crap.
I read. I was disturbed anew by what I already knew--our culture does not like women. I was heartened that a lot of what I believe about raising a daughter is right. Empowering her to trust herself, and trying to protect who she is, while difficult, will be well worth it.
I've also learned that, when confronted with real-life anger and the possibility of banishment still has the power to cow even the nastiest of 6 year olds. But now, we have to be on guard that the Howler doesn't turn to bullying Blondie (although, a small dose of her own medicine is, in my evil mom opinion, healthy for her.)
But, what I really did learn was that I am now the Howler's most important parent. She wants me in the background. She wants my attention. She wants me. She tells me, sincerely and honestly, that she loves me about 5 times a day. For no reason whatsoever.
Apparently, my snitch pitching at Blondie showed the Howler how very important she is to me. My righteous anger on her behalf, and my 3 days of constantly saying, "You deserve to be treated better!" got through.
Go figure.
She's more self-confident. The whining which was all-but constant has thinned, at least a little. She follows my rules better now. And she wants to hold my hand a lot.
It's nice, mostly, although sometimes, I do feel stiffled from her attentions.
It doesn't even hurt my feelings that she'd rather be down the street, under the neighbor's feet--the Howler has a new Auntie in this neighbor. An Auntie who paints her fingernails and toenails, braids her hair. Hugs her. Lets her run her dog ragged. And who understands our edict against Bratz dolls, our disgust at MTV, and who doesn't think it's cute to see (and hear) 6 year olds singing little ditties about how "Doncha wish yer girlfriend was HOT like me."
The Howler is a spectacular little girl--sensitive, loving, vibrant, noisy...and totally at home in her world.
2 comments:
I'm really dreading the time when Maureen is old enough to have social interactions like that. I was upset enough when some little beotch told J to go away at the pool. Good for you for standing up to Blondie!
That really is such a phenomenal book. I wish everyone would read it--parents of both boys and girls.
Post a Comment