He'll Do It His Way...

Being a grown up sucks--and this is what the Toad is finding out. Unfortunately, it's something that he's been finding out, he just can't seem to remember the lesson beyond a day or three.

So, yesterday, he went to lunch with his Aunt (my sister) and afterwards, she spotted him looking up the classified ads for apartments. Seems the Toad's friend (whom he hasn't had much contact with for about 3 years) is getting discharged from the Navy, and he and his wife will be moving "back home."

Toad has decided to "help" them find a place to live--I assume he's looking because he's hoping, the economy being what it is, to also share that apartment. Roomies! My Sweetie nor I have been asked for our opinions, so we've kept our mouths shut.

Remember my mantra for the past year? It's "LET.GO." and I'm getting kind of good at it. Biting my tongue isn't easy--but I've been practicing, and it's not as hard as it used to be.

Anyway, my sister decided to give him what for...and not only did she slam his friend(s), she also managed to get a slam in there on me. She also spent time last night informing my husband what I loser I was, and that the Toad is JUST. LIKE. HIS. MOTHER. And IT'S. ALL. HIS. MOTHER'S FAULT. (Even my step dad stuck up for me--I was at work.)

First, I think the Toad is totally clueless about what "real life" is really like.

Second, I think this friend of his, being discharged on a medical something-or-other, is NOT going to have a job anytime soon.

Third, I've seen the Toad totally mis-manage his money, and I have absolutely NO intention of paying for his folly.

Fourth, my sister is an ass when it comes to "Poor Little Toadly." She don't get it the way my mother don't get it. (Sis actually asked me, "So, what, we're supposed to just let him fall on his face?") She didn't like my responses. I bit my tongue over her evaluation of my life--that's a fight for a different day.

What is it about "LET. GO." that these people don't get? And how arrogant are they that they believe that no one else in the whole wide world loves him like they do. And if I may channel my sister for just a minute: "Only *I* know what's best for him."

Did they learn nothing from me? These are the people who preach to me that my profanity precludes my being a good Christian. These are the people who blame ME because they've coddled, covered for, and built the beast that is now snapping off at them.

How much brain does it take to figure out that what they want for him is not necessarily what he wants for himself. He's already done an excellent job of proving that he prefers to do things his way--even if it is a hard, frustrating, demoralizing way to do it.

Somehow, in all of this, they've decided that, of course, this is AMERICA! It MUST be his MOTHER'S fault!

Great Googly Moogly! Yet, neither of these rocket scientists will have this conversation WITH me. Why? Because they both know I can PROVE that they contributed much more to the ugliness that is now the Toad than I have. (My biggest mistake was not putting a stop to their idiocy sooner--like back when he was 5.)

Ahhh,their bottom line? Because I am steadfast in my decision to "LET.GO." I most certainly do NOT love him. What they don't get is that I love him enough to actually let him go--and let him fail.

Let him have the *safety net* of a place to crawl home to--but that doesn't mean put my health, my sanity, my paycheck in the way of his determination to do it his way.