On Being Mom

I have the two spawnlings, of course.

I am also going to 41 years old in less than 5 months.

I am now, officially, old enough to be mom to 1/2 the people I work with. This year's crop of newbies is either old enough to be my mom, or young enough to be my spawn.

I'm writing about that here, because of what I find happening to me.

Up until about 18 months ago, I was just "Older than them," and now, I find myself wanting to offer advice about life, protect them from some of the mistakes young adults make, and/or bring some of them home with me.

I feel old. And I fear, I'm turning into my mother.

It doesn't help that the Howler finished Kindergarten, and is now "officially" a first grader. And I've found that unlike when the Toad was this age (when I was either one-of-the-younger Moms, or fully a contemporary of the other Moms) I'm now one of the Older Moms.

The entire experience changed. From how long the school day was to what they actually taught, to how it was taught...to what was expected, behavior-wise. It was enough to make me want to join AARP ASAP. (Although one mom became a 1st time grandmother this past year--and she's only a year older than I am!--I still feel really old.) This means that technically, I am old enough to be a grandmother. Yee.

Think about it. When the Howler turns 16, and is legally allowed to learn to drive, I will be going-on-51. I can, as of now, measure memories in DECADES (that's entire 10-year chunks of time, in case the concept isn't depressing enough for ya.)

The Howler's contemporaries have parents who, for the most part, are still deciding whether or not to have more children, and who, for all intents and purposes, are not seriously aware how little time they have until retirement.

The Howler, of course, doesn't see it that way. We're just her mommy and daddy, and the details of it all don't matter to her. So, on the days that I spend time with her and opk like her, I don't feel so old. But when I go to work and see that most of the young people I work with are just that--YOUNG--and they don't have the cultural references I do (it was 80's day on L-land radio), so a good portion of what I laugh at is un-intelligible to them.

*sigh*