So, we now have a pack of wild ankle biters in the neighborhood.
Two are transitory--meaning they appear when they appear. One will appear every-other-weekend, per her father's court ordered visitation, and the other appears when she's visiting her grandparents (which is more frequent the last month or so). Both of these can be defiant and just a bit wild.
The other two are technically step sisters. Both of whom are relatively polite, follow rules, but who do 90% of the initiating of screaming.
We have discovered though, that while the "rule of 3" is vital when a pack of girls is in the brewing, one of the transitories is an instigator. If she's alone, she begins the visit to my house with the announcement, "If you're mean to me, I'll have to go home to my grandma's." (To which, being the bitch I am, I told her, "If you're mean while you're here, you'll definitely be going back to your grandma's.") If Blondie is tired, angry, feeling bored or ignored, she'll take the first opportunity to pick a fight with the Howler.
The Howler is slow on the uptake about friends. She's lonely (and I do feel for her, but I can't stand the thought that she'd allow someone to treat her badly for 'friendship') for someone to play with a lot.
The Howler, though, is starting to get that if she stands up to Blondie, then Blondie doesn't leave "forever!" and Blondie will still be heading our way to play. Blondie also does not like being told that her behavior is unacceptable. And she especially does not like to be informed that I know exactly what she's doing--picking a fight in an effort to force the Howler to allow her to do as she pleases. Blondie will also fight, tooth and nail, anyone else who may come along to play--if there's someone else for the Howler to play with, Blondie's power is lessened.
HAH! The Howler, through careful coaching, is learning that she can choose to not be bullied--and Blondie will still come over to play.
It's tedious--having to repeat ourselves, saying, "A friend does NOT make you feel bad! A friend does NOT have to have her own way all the time! A friend will compromise with you, and let you have a turn, including being first, sometimes!"
We're figuring it's going to be a looooong summer.
1 comment:
In our neighborhood, we have this thing where the moms all go out at 3 and sit under the tree & talk, while the kids play.
I've found that the kids who just come out without their parents, are the ones who drive us all insane. Lack of supervision from 3-5 extrapolates in my mind to lack of supervision all day long. I too, am tired of OPK when the OP haven't done their job of teaching them to look beyond themselves.
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