Actual, true, and for real news about the Toad.
I called my sister tonight, to talk a bit..and, of course, talk to the Toad. It's early yet, but he seems to be doing better.
Being outside this *village* and around other people seems to be doing him some good. He's spent 2 days at work with my sister, and helping her and a few other teachers with their children. He's enjoying it--feels as if he's accomplishing something.
He's now talking that he needs to get his clearances to be able to get a job in the school.
He's also talking about coming home to do this. My biggest fear is that he'll come home, and be right back where he was--in a lumpy rut, sitting around all day, waiting for his dorkass friends to get out of school.
He does want to be here next month when the Bishop comes to our church. He also remembers that he talked to the priest who will be planting a church in our diocese. I'm absolutely positive that EITHER of these men will be totally willing to talk with him about this opportunity, and about what it means for him. They'll also pray for him, and with him, so that he can make the best decision he can--and I'm sure they'll also be happy to hear that he may be finding himself a goal and a way to head into true adulthood.
Everything with him, though, is still so much up in the air. I don't like the airy part of it, but at least the direction is UP.
My mother, on the other hand, tried to comfort me tonight about the idea that he may be moving to Baltimore, at least temporarily. If he does, she'll be in tears and looking for someone to vent on..and God forbid, someone to tie herself to. (Terrifyingly, that person is the Howler. I don't know if the 5 year old has it in her--yet--to keep that from happening, and I know my mother, if she makes up her mind on this, will definitely try the same stuff she's already pulled with the Toad, but that's an entirely different rant!)
Right now, I'm not that bothered by it. Really. I've had the idea that if he did find something there, he may be going there, at least for a while.
Am I supposed to be devastated by this news? I don't get it. Am I supposed to be opposed to it? I'm not. Am I now supposed to suck the wind out of his unfurling sails and rope him into coming home and staying here? I won't.
Granted, I've had since September to adjust myself, resign myself, and work on myself. I have a head start on unloading the crappy emotional baggage in this, but I can't see myself, outside of just missing him--he is my boy, you know--and worrying about him and loving him being devastated by this. I see me as having my hands full in more ways than I imagined.
I heard his voice tonight. And I know my boy. If this sticks, he's headed where he needs to go. How can I argue against that? And what kind of fool would I be to try to?
Knowing this just confirms what I already knew--it was time for him to stretch those XL wings and fly.
I called my sister tonight, to talk a bit..and, of course, talk to the Toad. It's early yet, but he seems to be doing better.
Being outside this *village* and around other people seems to be doing him some good. He's spent 2 days at work with my sister, and helping her and a few other teachers with their children. He's enjoying it--feels as if he's accomplishing something.
He's now talking that he needs to get his clearances to be able to get a job in the school.
He's also talking about coming home to do this. My biggest fear is that he'll come home, and be right back where he was--in a lumpy rut, sitting around all day, waiting for his dorkass friends to get out of school.
He does want to be here next month when the Bishop comes to our church. He also remembers that he talked to the priest who will be planting a church in our diocese. I'm absolutely positive that EITHER of these men will be totally willing to talk with him about this opportunity, and about what it means for him. They'll also pray for him, and with him, so that he can make the best decision he can--and I'm sure they'll also be happy to hear that he may be finding himself a goal and a way to head into true adulthood.
Everything with him, though, is still so much up in the air. I don't like the airy part of it, but at least the direction is UP.
My mother, on the other hand, tried to comfort me tonight about the idea that he may be moving to Baltimore, at least temporarily. If he does, she'll be in tears and looking for someone to vent on..and God forbid, someone to tie herself to. (Terrifyingly, that person is the Howler. I don't know if the 5 year old has it in her--yet--to keep that from happening, and I know my mother, if she makes up her mind on this, will definitely try the same stuff she's already pulled with the Toad, but that's an entirely different rant!)
Right now, I'm not that bothered by it. Really. I've had the idea that if he did find something there, he may be going there, at least for a while.
Am I supposed to be devastated by this news? I don't get it. Am I supposed to be opposed to it? I'm not. Am I now supposed to suck the wind out of his unfurling sails and rope him into coming home and staying here? I won't.
Granted, I've had since September to adjust myself, resign myself, and work on myself. I have a head start on unloading the crappy emotional baggage in this, but I can't see myself, outside of just missing him--he is my boy, you know--and worrying about him and loving him being devastated by this. I see me as having my hands full in more ways than I imagined.
I heard his voice tonight. And I know my boy. If this sticks, he's headed where he needs to go. How can I argue against that? And what kind of fool would I be to try to?
Knowing this just confirms what I already knew--it was time for him to stretch those XL wings and fly.
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