From the Toad:
From the Howler: 
From Little Girls with Sparklers at Midnight:
From the Stupid Cat (the One Who Got Caught):
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Best Reaction to this kind of infestation:
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Be Afraid...Be VERY Afraid
I think the PTA is, anyway.
So, tonight, during "new business," I did mention the food thing. I wasn't ranting, and as God as my witness, I needed a good vent-it-out-fight. (More on that lovely fiasco later.)
I didn't get it.
I sat there, participating like a good little Stepford, when the opportunity to mention it came up. I was careful with my words.
But I very clearly stated that, as a parent, if I were to be told that I had to bring in veggies and 100% fruit juice, but the PTA can sponsor a party for a classroom and provide WINGS, and FRUIT PUNCH (their emphasis, not mine) I'd certainly be ignoring that little nutrition guideline. (I'm a rebel that way. *snark*)
Of course, I told 'em that I personally do not have an issue with it (my kid don't eat no stinkin' pizza anyway) but if we, as a PTA are going to set out guidelines like this, then, when making a decision on a party of any sort, the PTA should be following them.
One lone idiot said the PTA has always provided pizza parties for the kids...and I corrected him. I personally do not have a problem with pizza, wings, fruit punch, and ice cream, BUT if the PTA is providing it, the menu should read, "Pizza, veggie tray with dip, 100% fruit juice, and ice cream."
I reminded them (how basic is this concept?) that wings, no matter HOW they are prepared, are NOT a nutritious food. And fruit punch = Hawaiian Punch or Kool-Aid.
While I am enjoying my lack of invisibility, it's unnerving to sit in a room full of people you don't know and have them all suddenly get a look of dawning understanding on their faces.
Even earlier in the meeting, when I got the chance to remind them (gently and nicely *gag* of course) that NO BODY wants to feel invisible and NO BODY will come back to a meeting or volunteer for an event again if they feel unseen and unappreciated.
It's almost creepy.
My mother is predicting that I will be the PTA President next year. "I nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve." Period. I'll stay in the cheap seats and tell 'em how they're doing.
So, tonight, during "new business," I did mention the food thing. I wasn't ranting, and as God as my witness, I needed a good vent-it-out-fight. (More on that lovely fiasco later.)
I didn't get it.
I sat there, participating like a good little Stepford, when the opportunity to mention it came up. I was careful with my words.
But I very clearly stated that, as a parent, if I were to be told that I had to bring in veggies and 100% fruit juice, but the PTA can sponsor a party for a classroom and provide WINGS, and FRUIT PUNCH (their emphasis, not mine) I'd certainly be ignoring that little nutrition guideline. (I'm a rebel that way. *snark*)
Of course, I told 'em that I personally do not have an issue with it (my kid don't eat no stinkin' pizza anyway) but if we, as a PTA are going to set out guidelines like this, then, when making a decision on a party of any sort, the PTA should be following them.
One lone idiot said the PTA has always provided pizza parties for the kids...and I corrected him. I personally do not have a problem with pizza, wings, fruit punch, and ice cream, BUT if the PTA is providing it, the menu should read, "Pizza, veggie tray with dip, 100% fruit juice, and ice cream."
I reminded them (how basic is this concept?) that wings, no matter HOW they are prepared, are NOT a nutritious food. And fruit punch = Hawaiian Punch or Kool-Aid.
While I am enjoying my lack of invisibility, it's unnerving to sit in a room full of people you don't know and have them all suddenly get a look of dawning understanding on their faces.
Even earlier in the meeting, when I got the chance to remind them (gently and nicely *gag* of course) that NO BODY wants to feel invisible and NO BODY will come back to a meeting or volunteer for an event again if they feel unseen and unappreciated.
It's almost creepy.
My mother is predicting that I will be the PTA President next year. "I nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve." Period. I'll stay in the cheap seats and tell 'em how they're doing.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Fat Virgin
It's Christmas.
And, of course, I bought myself a new Christmas CD--one specifically for the car, because I keep forgetting to take some to the car for my listening pleasure.
It's got a rockin' good rendition of "Jingle Bells" on it. Listen to it here (because you know I can't do this techno-marvel stuff).
She really likes it. We listen to it every day on the way to school, and the on the way home.
Tonight, we listened to it twice on the way to AWANAS. Daddy was with us, and since he has a cold, he's not quite into the whole "Jingle Bells" really fast thing.
We're driving along, the song ends. She's breathless from trying to sing it. As I drive past a house that has a blo-mold nativity in it's yard, she says, "It's good they put out the fat virgin."
Since she spends a lot of her time pointing out interesting things I should be noticing, I had to ask her to repeat herself. "You know, the fat virgin of Jingle Bells. It's really fun."
Ohhhhhhh.
I'm still not ever going to look at a blo-mold nativity set the same way again.
And, of course, I bought myself a new Christmas CD--one specifically for the car, because I keep forgetting to take some to the car for my listening pleasure.
It's got a rockin' good rendition of "Jingle Bells" on it. Listen to it here (because you know I can't do this techno-marvel stuff).
She really likes it. We listen to it every day on the way to school, and the on the way home.
Tonight, we listened to it twice on the way to AWANAS. Daddy was with us, and since he has a cold, he's not quite into the whole "Jingle Bells" really fast thing.
We're driving along, the song ends. She's breathless from trying to sing it. As I drive past a house that has a blo-mold nativity in it's yard, she says, "It's good they put out the fat virgin."
Since she spends a lot of her time pointing out interesting things I should be noticing, I had to ask her to repeat herself. "You know, the fat virgin of Jingle Bells. It's really fun."
Ohhhhhhh.
I'm still not ever going to look at a blo-mold nativity set the same way again.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Testing...Testing...
So, it's been pointed out that I haven't updated about the Howler's electrocardiogram etc.
The tester at the hospital said that it would be sent to, I believe, Geisinger and would be reviewed by a pediatric cardiologist.
Our pede's office, when I called, said that the tests came back completely normal.
To clarify, I asked: Is there a murmur or not?
No murumur. Everything is normal.
Dayum. I was right about this too. I tried telling them that it was the asthma making noise in her chest that sounded like a murmur. And so it seems.
I'm not dragging her in there now, during cold-and-flu season, to talk with them about it. BUT if she does need drug in there, we will be discussing it. Bare minimum, come spring, her birthday, and her yearly checkup, we will be discussing it then, as well.
I also don't think that the singulair is such a good thing. She seems to be on it for 12-14 days then we start hearing complaints about tummy aches, headaches, she whimpers in her sleep, and she just looks drained.
I seriously think it's time to ask for her to be seen by a pediatric pulmonologist again. I hate the thought of it (especially with our crappy insurance) but there's no point to a preventative if she can't take it every day, especially during this time of year. There's also no point in her taking a medication that gives her side effects that negatively impact her life (and ours.)
In the meantime, I'm following my own advice: Follow yer gut. The doc may be a highly educated, trained professional, but I live with this small noisy girl, and I am an expert in that field.
The tester at the hospital said that it would be sent to, I believe, Geisinger and would be reviewed by a pediatric cardiologist.
Our pede's office, when I called, said that the tests came back completely normal.
To clarify, I asked: Is there a murmur or not?
No murumur. Everything is normal.
Dayum. I was right about this too. I tried telling them that it was the asthma making noise in her chest that sounded like a murmur. And so it seems.
I'm not dragging her in there now, during cold-and-flu season, to talk with them about it. BUT if she does need drug in there, we will be discussing it. Bare minimum, come spring, her birthday, and her yearly checkup, we will be discussing it then, as well.
I also don't think that the singulair is such a good thing. She seems to be on it for 12-14 days then we start hearing complaints about tummy aches, headaches, she whimpers in her sleep, and she just looks drained.
I seriously think it's time to ask for her to be seen by a pediatric pulmonologist again. I hate the thought of it (especially with our crappy insurance) but there's no point to a preventative if she can't take it every day, especially during this time of year. There's also no point in her taking a medication that gives her side effects that negatively impact her life (and ours.)
In the meantime, I'm following my own advice: Follow yer gut. The doc may be a highly educated, trained professional, but I live with this small noisy girl, and I am an expert in that field.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Why It Snowed
It's the proverbial "hell freezing over."
And I mean it.
I told the Toad that starting in January, he will begin paying rent. Not optional. I named a reasonable figure ($50/month--or $25/a pay) that doesn't EVEN come close to covering the cost of his continuing to live here.
Apparently, at the word, "RENT," he had an epiphany of his own.
He's agreed to work a few overnight shifts (still complaining about them, though.) He's shovelled the snow-covered sidewalks and brushed off my van. Without being asked. At 6:30 AM.
Be afraid. This, I fear, is one of the signs given in the Book of Revelations about the End of Time.
"It shall come to pass, that the sloth shall move quickly and exert effort on behalf of someone not-himself. He shall be helpful and respectful, and the righteous will quake with fear." Inert. 4:15
Okay, maybe not Revelations, but at least, I think, it's in Inertiates in the Apocrypha.
It also says:
"And truly I say to you, buggy things shall come forth and the stench of the whole shall cause retching in heaven, then the earth shall move and the sloth shall make himself, and his cave, clean." Inert. 7:2
and
"Yea, though I live in squalor and move not for man nor beast, I will fear the landlord. I will make ready the way of the shrew and her enforcer." Inert. 1:1
and
"In those days, the carpet shall be seen, the dust shall be pledged and his robes shall be washed in the neptune." Inert. 15:9
As you can see, there is much going on this holiday season in Mumpleland.
"And the Toaddites shall come to know peace by the power of Febreeze." Inert. 15:32
And I mean it.
I told the Toad that starting in January, he will begin paying rent. Not optional. I named a reasonable figure ($50/month--or $25/a pay) that doesn't EVEN come close to covering the cost of his continuing to live here.
Apparently, at the word, "RENT," he had an epiphany of his own.
He's agreed to work a few overnight shifts (still complaining about them, though.) He's shovelled the snow-covered sidewalks and brushed off my van. Without being asked. At 6:30 AM.
Be afraid. This, I fear, is one of the signs given in the Book of Revelations about the End of Time.
"It shall come to pass, that the sloth shall move quickly and exert effort on behalf of someone not-himself. He shall be helpful and respectful, and the righteous will quake with fear." Inert. 4:15
Okay, maybe not Revelations, but at least, I think, it's in Inertiates in the Apocrypha.
It also says:
"And truly I say to you, buggy things shall come forth and the stench of the whole shall cause retching in heaven, then the earth shall move and the sloth shall make himself, and his cave, clean." Inert. 7:2
and
"Yea, though I live in squalor and move not for man nor beast, I will fear the landlord. I will make ready the way of the shrew and her enforcer." Inert. 1:1
and
"In those days, the carpet shall be seen, the dust shall be pledged and his robes shall be washed in the neptune." Inert. 15:9
As you can see, there is much going on this holiday season in Mumpleland.
"And the Toaddites shall come to know peace by the power of Febreeze." Inert. 15:32
I Said A Bad Word
And I scared the Toad. Apparently, I have inadvertently stumbled onto the single most horrifying word he could imagine.
It inspired him to agree to work some overnights. He's been motivated to change his availability at work, in general. It's motivated him to come home from said overnight shift and shovel the sidewalks (it had snowed like the dickens that night) AND brush off my van because he knew we'd be leaving for church in a few hours.
It changed his attitude.
He cleaned his room (a whole other post in itself!)
Yeppers. Fear of God. In a word, uttered by me, in an unthreatening, unangry tone--a serious, no-holds barred, I really mean it tone, but not an angry one.
The word?
Can you guess it?
Rent.
It inspired him to agree to work some overnights. He's been motivated to change his availability at work, in general. It's motivated him to come home from said overnight shift and shovel the sidewalks (it had snowed like the dickens that night) AND brush off my van because he knew we'd be leaving for church in a few hours.
It changed his attitude.
He cleaned his room (a whole other post in itself!)
Yeppers. Fear of God. In a word, uttered by me, in an unthreatening, unangry tone--a serious, no-holds barred, I really mean it tone, but not an angry one.
The word?
Can you guess it?
Rent.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Choose Your Poison
So, I've ranted about the PTA before. Now, I've got me some serious stupidity going on...and I've GOT. TO. STOP. IT.
I don't look for this kind of thing--it finds me. (And I'm not going to mention the thing about the prez not doing what she says she'll be doing--but it's got my name on it, and so I'm the one that looks like I'm not doing it. That's a rude awakening looking to happen. WOW. I'm gonna go invisible again by spring, I'm almost sure of it.)
Anyway, the PTA and the principal have stated repeatedly, and more forcefully this year than last, that ALL snacks brought in or sent in for parties, etc, MUST. BE. HEALTHY.
This month's newsletter repeats this information in the letter from the Prez (and I'm calling her that because that's how she likes to have her *title* pronounced. OMG! Grow up!)
They're saying it nicely, but there's a tone behind it, as in "We're trying to be nice here, but we ARE going to become the Food Police soon if you all don't straighten up and follow our rules."
What I have a problem with is that they are policing the parents, parental involvement, and being critical of parental judgement, regarding food choices we make for our children.
What's got my blood pressure up is that, in the very same newsletter, there are NO LESS than 3 references to *prizes and fun things* the PTA is PROVIDING for the children that show a food hyporcracy: One class earned a party that was Domino's Pizza, WINGS, ICE CREAM, and FRUIT PUNCH. That was on the immediately next page from the message telling us to provide fruit trays, veggie trays, cheese & crackers, 100% fruit juice or water for the parties. Later in the newsletter, it tells me that there are no less than 11 classrooms that will be receiving DONUT HOLES as a prize for their parents filling in and returning to the school PTA surveys. I don't think they mean little poufs of empty air = donut holes, either.
Add this to the fact that my own Howler is buying individual serving sizes of CHEETOS, CHIPS, and FRUIT ROLL UPS. Granted, she has (on occasion *snark*) ingested these things at home and abroad, I HAVE read the contents and KNOW that HFCS, RED 40, AND fats of all shapes and sizes are in these things. Not to mention SALT. Ever read the nutritional information on BAKED Lay's Potato Chips? The things may be lower in saturated fats, but they have MORE SALT and other bad-for-you things in them than regular Lays. Even in choosing the *healthy* option, you may be saving yourself some clogged arteries, but you're risking high blood pressure and a myriad of other life-threatening things at the same time.
I don't lose sleep or make myself crazy about food. And I don't care if the school is pushing for *Healthy* because I've seen the statistics on obesity in children. But I really don't think that it's the place of the PTA to demand that I comply with the USDA Healthy Choices partyline, while they're holding donut holes on strings in front of my child to entice her to perform.
I honestly think that if the PTA can provide donut holes, wings, and fruit punch to the children in the school, they're really NOT in a position to tell me that I can't bring in brownies for a PTA sponsored party. I think the PTA needs to either put up, or shut up. They don't get to have it both ways--and now that I've got the PROOF (it's in writing the dolts.)
I think they're going to have to "Choose yer poison, and eat it too."
I don't look for this kind of thing--it finds me. (And I'm not going to mention the thing about the prez not doing what she says she'll be doing--but it's got my name on it, and so I'm the one that looks like I'm not doing it. That's a rude awakening looking to happen. WOW. I'm gonna go invisible again by spring, I'm almost sure of it.)
Anyway, the PTA and the principal have stated repeatedly, and more forcefully this year than last, that ALL snacks brought in or sent in for parties, etc, MUST. BE. HEALTHY.
This month's newsletter repeats this information in the letter from the Prez (and I'm calling her that because that's how she likes to have her *title* pronounced. OMG! Grow up!)
They're saying it nicely, but there's a tone behind it, as in "We're trying to be nice here, but we ARE going to become the Food Police soon if you all don't straighten up and follow our rules."
What I have a problem with is that they are policing the parents, parental involvement, and being critical of parental judgement, regarding food choices we make for our children.
What's got my blood pressure up is that, in the very same newsletter, there are NO LESS than 3 references to *prizes and fun things* the PTA is PROVIDING for the children that show a food hyporcracy: One class earned a party that was Domino's Pizza, WINGS, ICE CREAM, and FRUIT PUNCH. That was on the immediately next page from the message telling us to provide fruit trays, veggie trays, cheese & crackers, 100% fruit juice or water for the parties. Later in the newsletter, it tells me that there are no less than 11 classrooms that will be receiving DONUT HOLES as a prize for their parents filling in and returning to the school PTA surveys. I don't think they mean little poufs of empty air = donut holes, either.
Add this to the fact that my own Howler is buying individual serving sizes of CHEETOS, CHIPS, and FRUIT ROLL UPS. Granted, she has (on occasion *snark*) ingested these things at home and abroad, I HAVE read the contents and KNOW that HFCS, RED 40, AND fats of all shapes and sizes are in these things. Not to mention SALT. Ever read the nutritional information on BAKED Lay's Potato Chips? The things may be lower in saturated fats, but they have MORE SALT and other bad-for-you things in them than regular Lays. Even in choosing the *healthy* option, you may be saving yourself some clogged arteries, but you're risking high blood pressure and a myriad of other life-threatening things at the same time.
I don't lose sleep or make myself crazy about food. And I don't care if the school is pushing for *Healthy* because I've seen the statistics on obesity in children. But I really don't think that it's the place of the PTA to demand that I comply with the USDA Healthy Choices partyline, while they're holding donut holes on strings in front of my child to entice her to perform.
I honestly think that if the PTA can provide donut holes, wings, and fruit punch to the children in the school, they're really NOT in a position to tell me that I can't bring in brownies for a PTA sponsored party. I think the PTA needs to either put up, or shut up. They don't get to have it both ways--and now that I've got the PROOF (it's in writing the dolts.)
I think they're going to have to "Choose yer poison, and eat it too."
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