"just shy of 6"
I say this, because, in the past year, I've discovered that I've spawned the spiffiest girly in the world. She is, quite, "The Bomb."
She makes me giggle. She makes me belly laugh. She makes me smile.
She also makes me deranged. And angry. And frustrated.
And I love coming home from work after she's in bed and hearing about what she's done to her father.
Tonight, he was out in the garage beginning to put together the play house she's getting for her birthday. (Yes, she knows.) She apparently kept wandering inside...then outside...then back inside...
And each and every time she went in or out, she left the door open. Which drives her father crazy.
She also brought snow in the house (this is the dirty disgusting leftover snow that is piled up near the end of the patio--the snow that used to be her igloo, before it had the bad luck to cave in on a sunny day.)
He noticed, after I got home, that the freezer door was slightly ajar. "God alone knows how long it's been like that, "He muttered with a crazed look in his eye.
On second thought, it must've occured to him that if the freezer door was ajar, that meant that someone was in there. Better check it, and be sure there's no one still in there....
There is a "beach box" in there. It's open. It's contents used to be liquid. "Outside water" he's assuming.
He apparently has no sense of the ridiculous when it comes to his daughter (remember this is the same guy who thought it was horrifying that she went to preschool commando, but admitted, that if the Howler had been a boy, it'd be funny.)
He seriously needs to not take himself so seriously.
He needs to giggle more. Like I do. Especially over msytery freezer findin's.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
The Newest Howlerism:
"Cool as papercuts"
Now, before you just roll your eyes, we are fully aware (at least two of us) that papercuts are totally "uncool." But, the fact that the Howler has decided to help fill in the blanks and odd pauses in our conversations, "cool as papercuts" has now become the phrase of the hour.
We were getting home from giving blood (Daisy Scouts are expected to coerce their parents--or their parents friends--into giving blood. Even if they're terrified of needles and do not do well under stress), and while my Sweetie was turning the car around to park, the Howler commented on the Toad's parking abilities (they're non-existant, btw)
My Sweetie said, "Well, it's because he's cool as..." and while he spent 3 seconds searching for a suitable (and age-appropriate) comparison, she pipes up in 2 seconds with "papercuts?"
So, now, we, the Mumples, will be "cool as papercuts."
Now, before you just roll your eyes, we are fully aware (at least two of us) that papercuts are totally "uncool." But, the fact that the Howler has decided to help fill in the blanks and odd pauses in our conversations, "cool as papercuts" has now become the phrase of the hour.
We were getting home from giving blood (Daisy Scouts are expected to coerce their parents--or their parents friends--into giving blood. Even if they're terrified of needles and do not do well under stress), and while my Sweetie was turning the car around to park, the Howler commented on the Toad's parking abilities (they're non-existant, btw)
My Sweetie said, "Well, it's because he's cool as..." and while he spent 3 seconds searching for a suitable (and age-appropriate) comparison, she pipes up in 2 seconds with "papercuts?"
So, now, we, the Mumples, will be "cool as papercuts."
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Adjusted
Toadwort has adjusted to working, and working nights.
I think he finally caught on that he could yap, whinge, holler, play sick.....ad nauseum, and he was still going to go to work, and if he left this job, he is going to find another.
It helps that I bluntly told him this week that he was rotten to be around. Period. No hemming and hawing, no hedging; just flat out, "you're an obnoxious dink this week."
He adjusted. Quickly.
He actually spent about 10 minutes talking with Kevin and I today, and last night when I got home from work, he was hanging out for about 10 minutes then, too.
He's weird, though. Just plain weird.
He's been walking around the house having FULL BLOWN conversations with HIMSELF. (I know it's not Vince, because Vince uses--and inspires--the f-bomb.)
It's creepy. It's weird. I honestly don't think he realizes that other people can hear him.
It's just weird.
I think he finally caught on that he could yap, whinge, holler, play sick.....ad nauseum, and he was still going to go to work, and if he left this job, he is going to find another.
It helps that I bluntly told him this week that he was rotten to be around. Period. No hemming and hawing, no hedging; just flat out, "you're an obnoxious dink this week."
He adjusted. Quickly.
He actually spent about 10 minutes talking with Kevin and I today, and last night when I got home from work, he was hanging out for about 10 minutes then, too.
He's weird, though. Just plain weird.
He's been walking around the house having FULL BLOWN conversations with HIMSELF. (I know it's not Vince, because Vince uses--and inspires--the f-bomb.)
It's creepy. It's weird. I honestly don't think he realizes that other people can hear him.
It's just weird.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
More PTA Ranting
So, yesterday, in the Howler's bookbag, there's a letter with a piece of regular notebook paper wrapped around it.
It's the letter from the PTA prez, apparently for me to deliver for her, to work, asking for the kids' clinic kits.
Here's the Idiot's Timeline:
January 16, 2008 -- PTA meeting, mentioning the need for a "Dad's" activity; need for new chairs for the teachers' lounge
January 17, 2008 -- my call to the PTA prez mentioning that there is a possibility of the company I work for providing these kits...BUT it would required a letter on letterhead (school or PTA) for it to be considered; my call to the two people in charge of getting the chairs for the lounge...again, stressing the need to have it in writing, on letterhead
January 18, 2008 -- Chair committee returns my call.
January 19, 2008 -- PTA prez returns my call, I repeat the requirement of "in writing on letterhead" and keep all my verbs in the the "may be able" and "possibly provide" arena. I am careful to make no promises *I* can't keep
January 25, 2008 -- Chair committee contact calls again, to verify wording on letter, and to verify who to give it to; should be in the manager's hands over weekend
February 8-10, 2008 -- PTA newsletter cames home Friday, we read it Sunday night; prez letter on front announces a thank you to me--and is announcing that the donation of kits from my workplace IS happening. I call PTA prez, leave message. I call work--no one's heard anything from this woman, although they do confirm the information about the chairs is in. I can ask the person who would definitely know on Monday am
February 11, 2008 -- I miss work because the Howler is projectile vomiting; I do not call and ask about the kits/PTA letter
February 20, 2008 -- PTA meeting, I miss it because I have to work
February 25, 2008 -- I finally get the chance to ask at work--no one has seen hide nor hair of this letter from the PTA prez regarding the kits
March 3, 2008 -- letter comes home with Howler, on letterhead, requesting the kits; no further communications from the prez are in evidence.
Notice how I've only received ONE return call from the PTA prez? It's like she's got me on radio-silence, or some bizarre Don't call/Don't tell list.
Am I the only person who sees a problem with this? Other than the lack of communication from the PTA prez, I mean.
She's already announced that this is GOING to happen. And she's attached my name to it--as if I have any control over it on any level--as if I'm going to accept responsibility for it because she's announced it as fact (HAH! She don't know me, do she?)
I've got news for her--she can skew it however she likes, it's not going to happen that I have the hassles and stress over this. If she's counting on my being polite enough (like 98% of the women out there) to just *take* whatever grief she sends my way, she's got another think coming.
If this doesn't happen--and I already know it's not going to happen the way she's planning (why? Because from what I'm told, the store may very well provide these kits, BUT it's going to be with the condition that there is a definite sign up list, AND it will be held AT THE STORE. I'm not bothering to tell her this--she'll screw it into something it's not, or worse.
And, I see me, at the next PTA meeting, standing up for myself, and placing the blame for whatever problems this presents on her lap--and I see me making it clear that lack of and MIScommunication on HER part does not make it the responsibility mine in any way, shape or form. She's got a rude awakening coming, and, Thank God, I'm just the person to give it to her.
I see myself morphing from "Inviso-Girl" to "Unwelcome Bitch" in a matter of minutes.
I anxiously await that announcment in the newsletter.
It's the letter from the PTA prez, apparently for me to deliver for her, to work, asking for the kids' clinic kits.
Here's the Idiot's Timeline:
January 16, 2008 -- PTA meeting, mentioning the need for a "Dad's" activity; need for new chairs for the teachers' lounge
January 17, 2008 -- my call to the PTA prez mentioning that there is a possibility of the company I work for providing these kits...BUT it would required a letter on letterhead (school or PTA) for it to be considered; my call to the two people in charge of getting the chairs for the lounge...again, stressing the need to have it in writing, on letterhead
January 18, 2008 -- Chair committee returns my call.
January 19, 2008 -- PTA prez returns my call, I repeat the requirement of "in writing on letterhead" and keep all my verbs in the the "may be able" and "possibly provide" arena. I am careful to make no promises *I* can't keep
January 25, 2008 -- Chair committee contact calls again, to verify wording on letter, and to verify who to give it to; should be in the manager's hands over weekend
February 8-10, 2008 -- PTA newsletter cames home Friday, we read it Sunday night; prez letter on front announces a thank you to me--and is announcing that the donation of kits from my workplace IS happening. I call PTA prez, leave message. I call work--no one's heard anything from this woman, although they do confirm the information about the chairs is in. I can ask the person who would definitely know on Monday am
February 11, 2008 -- I miss work because the Howler is projectile vomiting; I do not call and ask about the kits/PTA letter
February 20, 2008 -- PTA meeting, I miss it because I have to work
February 25, 2008 -- I finally get the chance to ask at work--no one has seen hide nor hair of this letter from the PTA prez regarding the kits
March 3, 2008 -- letter comes home with Howler, on letterhead, requesting the kits; no further communications from the prez are in evidence.
Notice how I've only received ONE return call from the PTA prez? It's like she's got me on radio-silence, or some bizarre Don't call/Don't tell list.
Am I the only person who sees a problem with this? Other than the lack of communication from the PTA prez, I mean.
She's already announced that this is GOING to happen. And she's attached my name to it--as if I have any control over it on any level--as if I'm going to accept responsibility for it because she's announced it as fact (HAH! She don't know me, do she?)
I've got news for her--she can skew it however she likes, it's not going to happen that I have the hassles and stress over this. If she's counting on my being polite enough (like 98% of the women out there) to just *take* whatever grief she sends my way, she's got another think coming.
If this doesn't happen--and I already know it's not going to happen the way she's planning (why? Because from what I'm told, the store may very well provide these kits, BUT it's going to be with the condition that there is a definite sign up list, AND it will be held AT THE STORE. I'm not bothering to tell her this--she'll screw it into something it's not, or worse.
And, I see me, at the next PTA meeting, standing up for myself, and placing the blame for whatever problems this presents on her lap--and I see me making it clear that lack of and MIScommunication on HER part does not make it the responsibility mine in any way, shape or form. She's got a rude awakening coming, and, Thank God, I'm just the person to give it to her.
I see myself morphing from "Inviso-Girl" to "Unwelcome Bitch" in a matter of minutes.
I anxiously await that announcment in the newsletter.
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