Toad Tripping

The Toad started a new job. Due to the real confidentiality laws, I can only say that he is working with certifiable crazy people.

The one he's been working with most likes to do community service at the local humane society. She helps walk the dogs and it relaxes her. Apparently, the Toad's participation in this is also acceptable, and he is now walking homeless dogs. (and that's not the funny part)

The local humane society can afford a shitload of gravel for a their parking lot/mud hole. This is not usually a problem for most people...but for the Toad, this is baaaaaad news. While walking a homeless dog, he tried to jump over one of the larger mud puddles in the parking lot. Did I mention that the Toad is a rather large, doofy guy? And reminding you that he habitually twisted his ankle in gym class by tripping over painted lines should make the picture a little clearer.

Large doofy Toad lands in puddle. Dog is happy to have helped the Toad learn the very important lesson: if you have trouble walking in normal situations, and you habitually twist your ankles on painted lines, do NOT attempting to JUMP for any reason whatsoever.

Ever.

You're Invited...

Today when I got home from work, there was a card that had come in the mail. My Sweetie hasn't opened it yet, and he says, "I don't know who it's from."

I sez, "The Gator. She's inviting us to our house for Thanksgiving dinner."

He sez, "You are an ass."

I laugh, open the card and VIOLA!



We are officially invited to our own house for Thanksgiving Dinner.

HAH!

Dinner with My Spawn

Tonight for dinner, the Toad said he'd be here. So, when dinner was ready, we called up to Ass Caverns for him.

We used snooty accents, rolling our r's and elongating our vowels. He was amused.

He entered the kitchen, looked at me, and said, "Could you BE more obnoxious? Really?"

I laughed. Still using the snooty accent, I tell him, "Why, yes, I could be."

Again, he said, "Really? COULD you?"

Still laughing, I tell him, "Why yes, actually I could." Then I asked him if he wanted to throw down that gauntlet with me.

The Howler adds her two cents worth with, "Trust me, dude, you don't want to throw down anything with this woman."