The Bettys

This morning was Sunday School, which meant that Missy slept over. Last night, she & the Howler were all ADHD noise and disrespect.

This morning, they began bickering before their beady little eyeballs were open. I don't know what the bickering was about, I just know that well before we left for church, I wanted to beat them both bloody, and My Sweetie had begun referring to them as the Bickering Bettys.

They bickered on the way to church. When that didn't get them the results they wanted (Kidz Bop on the radio) they began bickering at me. As if! I called them both Betty all morning.

They managed to reign it in until after Sunday School. Then they decided to go all-out and actually FIGHT. As I tried to put the fear of God into each of them, the other Betty stood behind me, smirking.

Lovely.

On the way home, Betty A (the Howler) would just randomly bark orders...shut that off! No, not that one! And when I responded, they began howling like a pack of wild dogs on the scent of prey.

We weren't even out of the car, and they began demanding lunch. They were half nekkid changing into play clothes, bickering about who was wearing which tee shirt.

They were outside...and now Betty A is back inside, bitching about Betty B. Betty B is probably at her house, bitching about Betty A. Betty A wants the phone, so she can call Betty B and tell her off that way.

God help me. They're not going to survive the rest of today...

The Deets

Tonight, the Howler decided that since her DSi is supposedly internet capable, she would get herself on the internet. Needless to say, her parental units were not quite as happy about that idea as she was. (Turns out, the DSi may be internet capable, but we're not wired for that, baby.)

So, my Sweetie was fidgeting with the DSi, and whatever he did to it, it reset the camera feature.

The Howler begins telling me off because "Daddy did something to myyyyyy DSi. I had to watch all the deets to the camera."

I asked her to repeat herself. She wouldn't.

But, for the record, my baby knows the "deets."

Duelling

We've already established that one of the definitive things about the Howler is that she goes to 11. Especially in volume/noise level. And that she loves music--the more annoying, the better. (of course, she cut her teeth on Steve Miller Band, and Pink Floyd, but that's a totally different story!)

A few Saturdays ago, she and Missy were listening to music in the kitchen. A veritable Dance Party, it was. And of course, we know that Missy is about as silent as the Howler.

First, it felt like an earthquake. Then, I prayed for a real earthquake--they found the Kidz Bop Christmas CD My Sweetie had so idiotically purchased for the Howler. (His rationale? There is no rationale when it comes to Kidz Bop.)

My Sweetie decided at this point to defend himself, by turning on the stereo in the living room. He chose his weapon carefully--to counter attack Kidz Bop you've got to have something ... well, something.

He chose "Along Came A Spider" by the inimitable Alice Cooper.

Yeppers--I was sitting in the middle, praying for, well, anything, that would stop the insanity. Kidz Bop Christmas to the right. Alice Cooper (You'd look good in the trunk of my car, btw) to the left...I think whatever would've happened within the next 15 minutes would've been totally justifiable in any court of law.

Howler Poetry on a Snowy Day

Cats here and
Cats there
Cats all around the town
Cats are here
And cats are there
What can we ask for now?